Challenge #11, #12

Not a direct challenge from my mom, but something she has been challenging me to do since I was young—now I’m passing it on. Whenever I was angry at someone, my mom would always tell me to be compassionate, to pretend I was in their shoes, to let go of the anger, blah blah blah. All I wanted was for her to listen to me be pissed, to be mad with me. I would get so frustrated with her ability to be understanding of whoever was in my line of fire, while being totally unable to be understanding of me anger. Sure, her approach was probably healthier, but sometimes it feels good to yell and bitch and just be pissed. So here is a two part challenge.

Challenge #11, January 11, 2011: If someone has made you angry lately, let yourself be mad today. If you are illogically sad about something, allow yourself that sadness. Be unhealthy, add to the stress in your life, let that anger crawl into your lungs and erupt. Yell, complain, punch (a wall, not a person). Recognize the emotions and live them for today. (If you have nothing to be mad or sad about—then lucky you.)

Challenge #12, January 12, 2011: Follow my mother’s advice. Be compassionate towards whoever pissed you off. Accept their apology, even if you never received one. Being angry is not worth the energy it takes to sustain the emotion. It is draining, and exhausting. You let yourself dwell on it yesterday, use today to let go.

(Yes, I know, similar to rule #6. But not the same, and just as important.)

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About onechallengeaday

I am searching for nothing and absorbing everything. My eyes are open--I am wondering, I am wandering. I was made to run, to think, and to write. And that is what I plan to do.
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6 Responses to Challenge #11, #12

  1. Sy says:

    Not today, but last summer, a guy I work with, who likes to tease people and push their buttons, pissed me off.
    He made an uncalled for remark and I just decided to shut him down. Now there is not a lot to criticize about this guy. He is into a healthy life style and rides his bike to work, but one thing about him, that i guess should be off-limits is that he has a bad complexion, so that’s what I used against him.
    I told him that everytime he talked sh.t to me that I was going to comment on his face. I was going to talk about how bacteria ate it up because he never washed as a child. I told him that I could write jokes that comedians would charge people 40 dollars a head to hear, just like other people would pay five dollars a head to see him in a freak show.
    I told him, if want to talk sh.., I can talk sh…
    He said, “I know you can.” then said he didn’t realise he was being offensive.
    We still work together and he’s friendlier that ever. Do I ever wish I hadn’t said those things. Not really.

    • I’m glad I wasn’t on the other end of those harsh words–I wouldn’t know what to say. My mom would certainly be disappointed in you, but sometimes it feels sooo good to let someone have what they deserve.

  2. Rajiv says:

    There is a rule in general” Never Do things, which you can’t tell to your mother” . Think about it before doing.
    Great work here 🙂
    cheers
    rajiv
    http://rrajiv.wordpress.com/

  3. There is a quote “Ignore your enemies – nothing will humiliate them more!” ; but your mother is wise – forgiving your enemies is one step higher. It saves a lot of energy for you that could be put to good use in some positive way, than to be grudging and thinking how to retaliate! And besides, if we are nice and good to people, people would always reciprocate. Even the worst ones. Try it.

    Destination Infinity

    • Sy says:

      Nice words. Lame thoughts. There is another saying, Sy says “one good samaritan is worth a thousand bystanders.” my bro shares your view, won’t acknowledge negativity, head in the sand as far as I’m concerned. read the papers.

    • I have heard that quote and love it. It is so true! Having a grudge is such a terrible feeling. You are so right that it takes tons of energy to hold on to that type of anger.

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