Challenge #79

Challenge #79, March 21, 2011: I hate explanations; I hate confrontations; I hate justifications. I hate telling someone my motives or my actions or my feelings. I’d prefer to just let things go unsaid and unexplained. Unfortunately, this is usually pretty unfair to the other person. Right now, I really owe someone an explanation. I’ve been in this situation many times before, and I usually just let things go—let the other person figure it out for themselves. But I know that that is not fair, or the right thing to do. So today, my challenge to myself and to you is to give an explanation where an explanation is due.

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About onechallengeaday

I am searching for nothing and absorbing everything. My eyes are open--I am wondering, I am wandering. I was made to run, to think, and to write. And that is what I plan to do.
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4 Responses to Challenge #79

  1. narami says:

    I unknowingly fulfilled this challenge today :o) Yep, I have no problem explaining how angry I am or why I got angry, but my mouth is sealed if I’m sad. Today I told a friend I’m sad because I miss him.
    It was delightfully liberating!

    • I’m glad you completed the challenge! It is usually a good feeling to get out some emotion. I find that I get so afraid of being vulnerable, so I tend to keep things like sadness to myself also.

  2. Stef says:

    I also used to do everything I could to avoid confrontation and explanation. However, once I started working in a corporate environment where “Feedback Is A Gift” (this is a real book; you can find it on Amazon), I was required to address issues immediately and in detail. Now, nearly 14 years later, I am very skilled at giving feedback (i.e., addressing issues head-on and nearly immediately), but also doing so diplomatically, tactfully, and respectfully – yet still also candidly, honestly, and directly. It *is* a “gift” to help someone become a better person – and that really IS what is happening when one person gives another person feedback – assuming the feedback is offered diplomatically, tactfully, and respectfully.

  3. Sy says:

    by feedback, it sounds like you mean instruction. tactfulness is very important. its like the difference between telling someone that their child looks fragile, which could be taken negatively, or instead saying, oh, she’s so delicate, which is more complimentary, but it’s pretty much the same thing. tone is also important. and let’s not forget the breath and deodorant.
    I had a boss once who had horrible BO all of the time. I figured it was a family trait they couldn’t control. I joked to one of my co-workers that they probably had scratch and sniff pads next to the pics in their family album, then he one upped me by saying that our boss and his wife probably had to wear gas masks when they fooled around and looked like a couple of ant eaters going at it.

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