Challenge #152, June 1, 2011: Sorry!
I’ve got a lot to say today—too much, really, to put into words. Everything is just swirling around, and doesn’t want to turn into letters on a page.That’s how it feels, at least. But I suppose I’ll give it a shot.
Long story, short: I bought a plane ticket to go home in August. Then I ran out of money and decided to change my ticket so I could go home a couple weeks early, in July. Then I found out I couldn’t change my ticket, and will be in Europe for two extra weeks with no money.
I got really upset about it—one of those huffy puffy moods. You always want what you can’t have, huh? And I just wanted to go home. Going home in August means that I will have only two days at home before moving to Montana for school. I had it in my head that I would get at least a week at home—that I would have some time to hang out with my mom and my friends and my doggies. And after five months of constant unknown, I was very excited for some familiarity.
But after I recovered from my huffing and puffing (by going to an international performance of a Shakespeare play—a wonderful thing), I realized that I wasn’t so much upset about the fact that I wouldn’t be going home early. I was upset, mostly, about the fact that what I thought was going to happen was not going to happen. And I realized that there is no point in that. Things will work out exactly as they work out, because there is no other way that they could. And to waste time being upset because you’re not in control is futile and stupid—and hard. It is hard to not be upset when you cannot be in control. So that is the challenge for today.
Challenge #153, June 2, 2011: Control the things that you can control, but let go of the things that you cannot.