Challenge #189

Challenge #188, Friday, July 7, 2011: Ah, I’m so sorry!

When I look back on the short amount of my life in which I’ve been able to make big, life changing decisions, I realize that I have made quite a few of them. I like to think that it is because I like adventure and change and new people and places–and that is true. But occasionally I’ve been wondering if there is some deeper reason I’ve made the choices I’ve made. Why do I like change? Is there something I’m afraid of? Is there something I am searching for? People make decisions for all sorts of reasons (although Freud would disagree)–I wonder why I have made mine.

Challenge #189, Friday, July 8, 2011: I think that being honest with oneself is a very important thing–and in this particular topic, I don’t know how to accomplish personal honesty–but that is what the challenge is.  Today, be totally honest with yourself about why you make each decision you make, and maybe think about why you have made the ones in your past. 


About onechallengeaday

I am searching for nothing and absorbing everything. My eyes are open--I am wondering, I am wandering. I was made to run, to think, and to write. And that is what I plan to do.
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4 Responses to Challenge #189

  1. Chris Howard says:

    Hi. Good one. I know I have made so many of my decisions by going where the path opens, where the wind blows. I may have regrets because of that, but in general I have been content. Honestly?…I don’t know. lack of creativity? fear of failure? too lazy to make plans and see them through? I will give this some thought. Thanks! Mom, not Chris.

  2. Stef says:

    True inner insight and self-awareness through totally unfiltered, rigorous self-honesty is such a gift – and SO difficult (and, at times, painful) to accomplish. When I first started to *honestly* look inside myself, I did not like what I saw at all. So I started to make changes – make thoughtful, intentional decisions about how I wanted to live my life, what I *really* wanted to be. And it’s been hard, hard, hard work – but the benefits have been truly amazingly outstanding. After all of the tears, and the stress, and the emotional turmoil, I *can* honestly say it was all worth it. And it continues to be so (because I doubt my inner work will ever be ‘done’ {at least, not until I reach full enlightenment})…

  3. Sy says:

    If Buddhism believes that the attachment to opinions and thoughts is more damaging than the attachment to material things, wouldn’t you be better off never even having an opinion of yourself, and since the second noble truth says that “self” is a delusion anyway, what’s the point?

    • Stef says:

      Yes, actually – the ‘goal’ is to release all opinions of one’s self (i.e., ego), so that one can live in the endless stream of change that is life – this is the state of enlightenment. Alas, I’m not enlightened yet, so my self persists…. 😉

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